so before my AMAZING trip, that i will tell you about later, i had an interesting visit my dealership to get my oil (car haha) changed. it's amazing what you can learn just by observing. such as:
1. there are crazy people everywhere, even at car dealerships. while waiting, i saw this older man walk through the dealership. then around it, then back through it, then across the street, then back over to dealership, then he stared at a tree for awhile, then continued his tour. i thought maybe he had a car there and was just trying to pass the time but then i heard one of the mechanics ask "who's this guy? that guy? he's been here for hours!"
2. does every business have a bossy figurehead who appears to have no job but to tell other employees what they are doing or what they should be doing? well, i guess for all i know, that could have been Don Howson of "Don Howson Chevrolet" but regardless, he didn't seem to have much of a purpose other than to ask meaningless questions and make redundant requests, and in a "dickish" manner at that.
"hey, can you move this stuff, to there?" it was A (one) box. i'm sure he could have handled it other than disturbing the cashier dealing with other customers. there was a guy in there painting because they had just gone under renovations. he asked the painter to move his things because "this is a business." it was a can of paint, and a paint tray, that he was using to paint. what an ass!
3. apparently burping is no longer considered rude in public. there was a gentleman sitting across from me who let loose a pretty good one, of course not excusing himself but was no comparison to the earth shattering rumble that came out of the woman beside me minutes later. she didn't flinch or anything. it was like a natural reaction like breathing. i jumped, looked at her, and of course started to laugh to myself. she just went on reading her harlequin novel.
4. women actually DO read harlequin novels. you know, the love books you can find in grocery stores with simulated paintings of fabio on the cover sitting on a rock in a waterfall or something like that?
5. 6 seats are not enough, in any waiting room. unless it's a prosthetic limb repair shop for pet grasshoppers or something that rare of that nature.
6. apparently watching someone paint is entertaining, relaxing, and DANGEROUS. i looked up from reading my book and i noticed everyone kind of looking in one direction. when i say everyone, i mean EVERYONE. what were they gawking at? the painter, painting the wall, sloooooooooowly. i looked away quickly so i wouldn't get hypnotized and fall under the same comatose as the others. i'm waiting to see him on the news. he may be the next villain - The Painter. he renders his victims unconscious with his slow, deliberate strokes as he pretends to be an everyday painter, and then has his way with them.
7. have you heard of the mustache imp? well, apparently he comes to you (men) when you turn 50 or so and outfits you with some mega facial hair and a styling guide. the facial hair sits thick and stringy and is immediately ready for twisting and forming. at the dealership i saw a group of older man talking in a circle, all with ridiculous mustaches. they might as well have been playing double dutch. i can't wait to be 50. i wish i had my camera on me. would have been a photo-shoot!
8. women read more then men. every woman in the waiting area was reading something. cosmopolitan, the newspaper, harlequin novels, something. of course before being hypnotized by The Painter. every man was looking at the ceiling or the floor. a couple picking their nose and the others styling their mustaches.
9. black people trust black people. if a black person enters a building, store, or in this case, a dealership, and there is another black person in there, they will ask them their question whether they work there or not. a nice little lady came in, passed the information desk and started asking me questions. maybe she thought i was employed there in my green burton jacket and thought that information meant something else but i doubt it. it took me two tries to for me to direct her to the information desk. i'm not quite sure what to say here..... loosen up people?!
10. mechanics don't like humour at their own expense. ages ago on my older blog, i had a little confrontation with a John Grad. he tried to charge me like a hundred bucks basically to check something that you didn't even touch my car to check. luckily another agent told him it was his mistake and it was actually FREE of charge. anyway, i saw him again that day. it's been like 8 months or so since i'd been there and honestly, i was still a little bitter at the guy. after dealing with another agent he directed me to the waiting room. as he opened the door he asked how i was doing and i could have a seat in the new waiting room, i laughed and replied "you're not going to charge to to sit are you?" laughing in reality but inside SO SERIOUS! he smiled and walked away. stuart 2 - john grad 0 but 50 douche points
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1 comment:
right on all accounts, my friend. especially the belching in public.
relevent observation of note:
have you noticed that if someone burps in public, 9 Xs out of 10 people roll their eyes and think, "how rude." but if someone farts, 9 Xs out of ten it will take all they've got not to laugh...or at the very least smile. why is that? how are farts any funnier than burps? they're both excess gas expelled from an orifice.
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