i remember years ago i was driving down route 45, minding my own business then suddenly BANG!!!!!!! somehow i managed to hit a bird and it got caught under my windshield wiper. i was like damn! how is that even possible??????? so i slowed down cause i really didn't know what to do. should i a) just turn on my wipers and let it roll off b) stop and take it off with some kleenex. option a) seemed a little ruthless and harsh, but that's what i decided to do anyway. 5 wipes and some thick blood streaks later, it caught some wind and flew off. about 2 minutes later BANG!!!!! same thing happened. i am not kidding you. 100 percent truth. except this one got stuck and rolled off on it's own. no blood.
ever since then i feel like my car has been getting defaced on a regular basis. not just a few drops here and there, precise bombs placed exactly where they know i'll look at it and say "what the fu**! are you serious??????"
note: birds are pissed and they are coming for us..
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